Dear Ava,

I remember the day I returned to work from maternity leave like it was yesterday. It’s still one of my most painful memories. My heart was heavy as I stood over you in your crib in the early morning darkness and touched your cheek one more time before I walked out the door. I heaved my enormous backpack filled with pumping gear onto my back and walked to the subway. To this day, that is the most unsettled I’ve felt about anything in my life.

In the weeks and months that followed, I felt that same pain on an almost daily basis. I was all smiles when I was in front of co-workers and students, but during moments alone I wept. It felt like I’d failed you–like I’d failed us.

Over time that sadness morphed into anger. I wanted to be angry at everyone around me. I wanted to be angry at your dad because he got to be with you during his paternity leave while I was at work. I wanted to be angry at my principal because she had a school to run and needed me to be there to do the job I’d signed up for. I wanted to be angry at the commuters who dared to take up all of the subway seats so I had to stand up while wearing that enormous pumping backpack every morning. I even wanted to be angry at my breast pump when my milk supply began to dwindle.

In actuality, I was angry at myself. It wasn’t your dad’s fault, my principal’s fault, the commuters’ fault, or the breast pump’s fault. I was exactly where I was because I’d chosen to be there. Year after year I’d signed a contract and chosen to show up and serve the students, teachers, and families that needed me.

That realization, Ava, was the turning point for me. I began to understand that I wasn’t just angry—I was longing for something different. I realized that the real source of my frustration wasn’t the job itself, or the people around me, but the fact that I was choosing to live a life that no longer aligned with the person I wanted to be, especially for you.

As I stand here today, in the earliest stages of building my business, I want you to see what is possible when you truly believe in yourself and have the courage to bet on your own dreams. I don’t want you to grow up thinking that staying in a situation simply because it’s “safe” or “stable” is the only option. I need you to know that it’s okay to step into the unknown if it means following your heart.

That’s why I decided to walk away from the comfort of my teaching career and into the uncertainty of building my own business. I needed to show you that having faith in yourself, even when it’s scary, is worth it. Life is full of opportunities to start over, to reinvent yourself, and to chase fulfillment. I wanted to teach you, by example, that you can trust yourself to create something new—even when the path ahead isn’t clear.

It’s not easy to walk away from something that’s familiar, and there will always be moments of doubt and fear. But I want you to see that betting on yourself is one of the greatest acts of self-love and faith you can make. It’s about knowing that you are capable, resilient, and deserving of a life that truly makes you happy.

As I made the transition, I also learned that it’s okay to start over. We are not defined by the careers we choose early on, and we are allowed to change course when something else calls us. I want you to know that you’re never “stuck” in life—there’s always room to pivot, try new things, and evolve into the person you’re meant to be.

My journey into entrepreneurship hasn’t just been about building a business; it’s about building a life that reflects the values I hold dear—values like time with you and your dad, creativity, and the freedom to shape my own path. I want you to see that it’s possible to create a life that aligns with who you are and what matters most to you.

Ava, as you grow up, I hope you remember this: have faith in yourself, don’t be afraid to start over, and always chase what sets your heart on fire. You deserve to live a life that brings you joy, fulfillment, and purpose—and I’ll always be here to remind you of that.

Love you forever,

Mommy

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