“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon

The movie Inside Out 2 opened in movie theaters on Ava’s 5th birthday, so that was the way we celebrated with her . If you’re unfamiliar, in the original film Inside Out we journey into the mind of an 11-year-old girl named Riley. Her emotions–Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust, are personified as characters. As Riley navigates a major life change, the film beautifully illustrates how all emotions play a vital role in shaping our experiences and responses. In the sequel, Riley hits puberty and wrestles with a series of more complex emotions like envy, embarrassment, and anxiety.

As a mother and a former teacher, I resonate strongly with these films. I appreciate the way the writers have been able take abstract concepts and make them concrete and relatable among the youngest in their audience. They’ve also given my daughter powerful language to describe her emotions. She’ll often say things like “I’m so excited–Joy is controlling me right now!”

One of the most thoughtful aspects of the films is that they underscore the purpose behind each emotion. Riley lets Anger take the lead when she needs to express her frustrations, while Fear’s primary role is to protect her from harm. As I’ve navigated my transition from educator to web designer, I’ve had to wrestle with my own Fear on multiple occasions. Walking away from a career that I spent 15 years building and stepping out to do something totally different has taken my mind to some wild places. In a single day I’ve gone from being filled with gratitude that I am finally calling the shots in my career to positively quaking in fear of the unknown.

Fear hit me hard when I began taking my first web design course. I was bombarded with thoughts like “what if this is just too difficult to learn?” and “I’m 37–what if it’s too late to start over?” That’s when the anxiety started to creep in. Thoughts like “Can I really work for myself?” and “What makes you think YOU can successfully run your own business?” became the norm. These thoughts were so overwhelming that I almost gave up.

Almost.

During one of my darker moments, remembered something I’d read last year that profoundly changed the way I thought about my own fears. In her novel Big Magic, Elizabeth Gilbert personifies Fear as a companion on the creative journey. She describes Fear as a passenger in the car of life, acknowledging its presence but insisting that it should not take the wheel. Gilbert emphasizes that while Fear is a natural part of the creative process, it doesn’t get to dictate the direction or decisions. Instead, she encourages readers to allow Fear to sit beside them, acknowledging its role while still pursuing their passions and creativity. This approach reframes Fear as something that can coexist with creativity, rather than something to be eliminated.

As I began to understand that Fear’s role was to protect me from perceived danger, I realized I could acknowledge its presence without letting it control my decisions. A thought like “what if this is just too difficult to learn?” can be understood as Fear trying to protect me from failure, discomfort, or disappointment. But when I acknowledge this, I can reframe the thought to move forward. By recognizing these intrusive thoughts as Fear’s way of trying to keep me safe, I could then reframe them in a way that allowed me to move forward. Here are some more intrusive thoughts I’ve encountered along the way, along with how I’ve learned to recognize Fear’s protective role and reframe them to move forward with confidence:

• Intrusive Thought: “What if this is just too difficult to learn?”
  Fear’s Protective Role: Fear is trying to protect me from the frustration of failure and the pain of realizing I might not succeed right away.
  Reframe: “Learning something new is always challenging, but every small step I take gets me closer to success.”

• Intrusive Thought: “I’m 37—what if it’s too late to start over?”
  Fear’s Protective Role: Fear is trying to shield me from wasting time or feeling inadequate compared to others who may have started earlier.
  Reframe: “It’s never too late to pursue something that excites me. My life experience gives me a unique perspective and advantage.”

• Intrusive Thought: “Can I really work for myself?”
  Fear’s Protective Role: Fear wants to prevent me from the potential instability or risks of working independently.
  Reframe: “I’ve spent years building skills and resilience. I can channel that into building a business that works for me, on my terms.”

• Intrusive Thought: “What makes you think YOU can successfully run your own business?”
  Fear’s Protective Role: Fear is trying to keep me from feeling rejected or overwhelmed if I don’t meet my own or others’ expectations.
  Reframe: “I’m capable and willing to learn. Success comes from persistence, and I have the drive to make it happen.”

• Intrusive Thought: “What if I fail?”
  Fear’s Protective Role: Fear is trying to protect me from the emotional pain and embarrassment of failure.
  Reframe: “Failure is a stepping stone to success. Every failure is an opportunity to learn and improve for the next time.”

• Intrusive Thought: “What if people don’t take me seriously?”
  Fear’s Protective Role: Fear is trying to protect me from feeling rejected or criticized by others.
  Reframe: “The right clients will value my work and dedication. I can’t control others’ opinions, but I can control how I show up and serve.”

• Intrusive Thought: “What if I’m not good enough?”
  Fear’s Protective Role: Fear is attempting to guard me from feelings of inadequacy or not measuring up to expectations.
  Reframe: “I am constantly growing and improving. My journey is about progress, not perfection, and I am committed to being the best version of myself.”

Embracing Fear as a natural part of my journey has transformed my perspective, allowing me to move beyond the limitations it once imposed. Rather than seeing Fear as a barrier, I’ve learned to view it as a teacher—reminding me of my courage and resilience. Each time I encounter an intrusive thought, I remind myself that I have the power to choose how I respond. I can acknowledge Fear’s presence without allowing it to steer my decisions. The truth is, every courageous step I take is a testament to my growth, pushing me closer to the life I envision for myself.

As I continue this path toward becoming a successful web designer, I am committed to harnessing the energy of Fear, transforming it into fuel for creativity and innovation. Just like Riley in Inside Out, I understand that all my emotions, including Fear, play a vital role in shaping my journey. So, I invite you to join me in embracing your fears and allowing them to guide you—not as a hindrance but as a companion on your unique journey. Remember, true courage lies not in the absence of Fear but in the unwavering belief that something greater awaits us beyond it. Together, let’s navigate the complexities of our dreams and passions, knowing that each step we take brings us closer to living a life filled with purpose and joy.

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